Senior Story

The days of pop in glass bottles for 60 cents and paying 87 cents for a gallon of gas are difficult to remember so here is our Senior Story for you to enjoy and recall many of the fun memories from our high school years.

The Class of 1988 Presents . . . AInquiring Minds Want To Know
Starring. . . The Class of 1987

After the class of 1987's 10 year anniversary, a series of stories were printed about them in the National Inquirer. As a result, we are here at People's Court witnessing the drawn out trial between Merrill High Schools class of 1987 and The National Inquirer. Please rise as our presiding judge, Jason Van Horn, escorted by bailiff, David Siler, enter the forum. The court reporter rapidly taking minutes of the trials is Cheryl Phillips.

The first dispute that the Inquirer-printed was of Marvin Bott and his ambulance service after he ran into a taco stand operated by the former Batman, Henry Castillo. The only casualty, however, was Chris Dominowski, who was there eating his 18th taco with another one of his boring dates. Chris was rushed to the hospital where Dr. Rob Scherzer was called in to perform surgery. He sped in on his 4-wheeler and was greeted by his medical assistant, Mariah Hesse. He survived the surgery and was put in a room with Gerry Ellis, who was a former member of the band, "Muttley Crude", which also consisted of lead singer, Laurie Breedlove, back up singer, Becky Gilliam, lead guitar, Bruce Shoenlein, and drummer, Richard LaFrenier. The band reportedly split up due to the protests of Jim Riegle and his Marching Saints, Irene Conklin., Andy Sherman,and Jeff Purcell. The Marching Saints were last seen on the Karen Lacker Show where they openly criticized the band's involvement with drugs and Devil Worshipping.

Karen's show hosts several well known people. For example, the nation's leading anthropologist, Mark Montgomery, who discussed the recent outbreak of grasshoppers at Merrill High School. He then consulted the President of the Orkin Army, Shannon Euler. She, in turn, discussed the situation with the new principal, Andy Colpean, who is suspected of holding the former principal, Mr. Roy Fortin, hostage. The authorities are having a very difficult time finding anyone to pay the ransom. The National Inquirer wrote in the last issue that Andy is believed to be the leader of the terrorist group, H.E.M.O.. Other assumed members are Joe Rowley, Amy Brush, Ed Harless, and Chuck Kehoe.

In-an update on last months story on the alien visitors spotted by reputed scientists Don Sherman and Tim Ribble. They discovered that it was much worse than extra-terrestrial. It was Stacey Koscis,, Jeff Harper, and Darrell Filipiak on a routine flight from the twins-Minneapolis, St. Paul-­to the tri-cities.

Another controversy was over the hostess of the Dating Game, Miss Jodie Boyd. Her contestants for the day were Tim Wicke, the returning champion, and Kirt Shields, who has been on the show often, but still can't seem to be victorious. The issue was brought up that Jodie may be fired due to the recent publication of outdoor photographs on the joke page of a papular FFA Speedster magazine.

One promising subject that was published in the Inquirer was the coverage of the PGA golf tournament. "Mighty" Matt Mikusko came out on top, taking all the winnings. The tournament was broadcast on ABC sports, where Dewight Hartung announced his victory.

With the 1988 Olympics in their past, the coverage of the Merrill athletes seemed quite unfair. The U.S. Volleyball Team, which took silver medals, had scandal reports involving the use of steroids. The girls accused were star spikers, Lisa Hale and Lori Draves. The setter involved was Pam Koviak, and the bumper, Ann Keel. This accusation, however, was later proven false.

The Merrill competitors on the basketball team were much less successful, losing to the five foot seven Chinese basketball team. High scorer was Tim Naessens with 12 points and Denny Kalahar broke the record for losing the most (basket) balls dribbling between his legs. Although Denny was unlucky in basketball, he made up for it in Track and Field, taking a gold medal for his sprinting abilities.

Manuel Brown was disqualified for tripping a fellow Russian athlete at the finish line. Manuel is advised to stick to riding his bike instead.

In the Marathon, Dennis Hogan was said to come in first, but after further investigation by the Olympic board, it was found that he took a slight shortcut.

An update on the Jodi Dougherty case: There will be a book published on her execution due to her repeated theft of reflectors called, "There's No Reason for Reflector Robbing Rebels to Live, So Ya Might as Well Just Forget It". The book will be written by the Pulitzer Prize winner, Kelly Siler. Jodi=s accomplice, Julie Kennedy, is still at large. Rumor has it that she fled to Germany and is now the president of the Peanut M & M Corporation in Europe. Approximately 10 years ago in 1986, the terrible two were also convicted for the kidnapping of Aaron Stiner. They received SIPIS (Stiner in Possession) for this act and were each given a $25 fine.

Karen Honaman, Americas first woman president, and Vice President Lori Beckley have recently been looking into the bum situation across America. We interviewed a couple of bums to get a better insight of what is going on. Greg DeShone has been a bum ever since he left high school finding food, beverages, and parties anywhere he can. One of his park bench buddies,.Tod Weigold, is often found eating out of green dog dishes.

These bums can sometimes be tracked down at "Parties by Penny", a franchise owned by Penny Dittenber and Beth Corbat. It was said to have been busted recently for selling to minors.

Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, or M.A.D.D., had a demonstration at the Standish Hills Nunnery protesting the acquittal of four nuns after they had been caught testing too much of the Communion Wine. The four nuns involved were Sister Kerri Benjamin, Sister Gail Maier, Sister Lisa Kopta, and Sister Jill Bigelow, who divorced Tony Stewart as a result of her calling to minister to the people of God's Earth.

With electronics and robotics being all the craze, Dawn Gerard, Sue Guterez, Tammy Dickerson, and Kathy Thomas went into the booming business of robots that clean. Later, it was supposedly found that it was a cover for Russians spying on our progress and new ideas for the electronics market.

The cleaning robots that were manufactured are now being sold at Meijer Thrifty Acres. A tragic accident recently occurred when Kelly Burgoyne called Karla Radosa to the courtesy desk for an emergency phone call. While Karla was on her way to the desk, there was a terrible crash as she and her shopping cart hit head on with Mike Petricevic and his cart. With the help of Brian Kafka, a bag boy at Meijers, Mike proceeded to sue the Meijer company due to the broken ankle he suffered from the collision. He became a millionaire and spent his money madly. He hired Brad Coon as his financial consultant, James Bott as his chauffeur, and Dale Hauri as his gardener. Mike married Krista Aulbert, who had been working at a local café. When all of Mike's money ran out, they ended up joining Greg and Tod in the dark alleys.

Another family success story came with the newest arrival of the Fleming children. Brian Fleming and the former Lisa Foy, also known as "Trixiell, are now the proud parents of their thirteenth child who they named 'Gus", after Brian's High School basketball buddy, Greg Garno. Taking care of 13 kids is a difficult task so Lisa hired Michelle Kennedy as her live-in nanny. She received her name from a highly respected babysitting agency owned by JoAnn Ford. Driving thirteen kids around calls for a large car which has the tendency to go through several tires. The Flemings take their family wagon to "Tires by Katie". The Michelen company owned and operated by Katie Hogan. Her best mechanics include Greg McMahon and Jeff Hyatt. Because of frequent tire sales to Marlissa Ornelas, due to tread wear, Katie spends the extra money on commercials done by our favorite and yours, "Mean" Joe Jewell.

Another familiar face on the TV screen is our own Tammy Syrek, who married the Hollywood stuntman, Rob Hiner. With them both acting, problems had been created and rumor has it that Rob is having an affair with his fellow stuntman, Mark Overton's wife, Chris Thom.

Happenings on the other side of the country include a break-through in a cure for fleas. This discovery was made at the research laboratories in Boston, headed by Amy Locke, a well-known veterinarian. The animals used in her studies came from George Siler's farm on the outskirts of town.

Another East coast happening involved Kevin Kipfmiller and Kari Siler..
They have been on magazine covers ail over the world because of their new
designs in the fashion business. Kevin was chosen to design the stunning gown for Queen Anne Marie Searles. The dress was sewn together by a joint effort from seamstresses Cindy Liedeke and Kim Rinz - Kevin also designed a dress for Cathy Kilgore, it came fully equipped with adjustable softballs.

Yet another controversy surrounds the political Opposition of the re-election of Rachel Michael to Secretary of Interior, Exterior, and everything in between. The opposing leader was Meg Marshall, jealous president of the Central American Country, the Banana Republic.

Sophia Jimenez has a new child safety video called "Crossing the street is a Smash.,, with the leading role played by Deanna DuRussel. Deanna informs the children what the flashing red lights on a school bus mean. Floating in with her Pacer,. instructs the do's and don'ts of riding in a car.

Now to the Great Dennis Turbin in his mountain sanctuary in Tibet. He is supervising his Guru followers, Lisa Goulette and Karen Schaeding, as they try to incorporate Pom-pon maneuvers to flag in lost space ships.

When the verdicts were reached on all of the cases, the truth was finally
found. After further investigation by detective Lora Gulick, it was discovered that-most of the false information came from a popular gossip column written by Ann Coppens. The rest of the fibs came from David Wright.
Although the reputations of many people were ruined, soon the town of Merrill and the people of Merrill were back to their old, boring selves.


SENIORS
Single file and yet together,
We have shared are greatest days
And we carry common memories,
In a different way.
Though we don't know where we=re going,
We will cherish where we've been,
As our time comes closer to an end.
Hold on to the moment
Let the feelings show
Hold on to the moment
Never let it go.
I can picture us together
My arms around my friends.
Just let me hold on to this moment before it ends.
There was laughter
There was tears
Through a dozen golden years.

Location Secured!

The class reunion will be held at the Valley Plaza Resort in Midland on Saturday, August 11. The resort does have a limited number of overnight guest rooms available if you need a room contact Jodie at jcady@mirealtors.com for the details. The resort has also blocked their free shuttle bus from 1:00 – 5:00 p.m. on Saturday for anyone who wants to make a trip to the Casino prior to the reunion. The reception and dinner will be held in the Admiral Ballroom. Look for details to come in the mail about purchasing tickets in May.

Check out their web site at www.valleyplazaresort.com